I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
