I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
