We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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