Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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