He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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