ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
