God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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