he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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