He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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