If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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