I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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