clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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