i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
