a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
