She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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