I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
