New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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