So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
