My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
