he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
