so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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