You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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