when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
