Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Its about making memories worth repressing
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
