i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
