you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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