Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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