And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
