i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
