Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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