Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
