I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
