pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh god the rape fog is back!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
