8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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