So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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