it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
