He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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