scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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