Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
