You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
