I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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