This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
