Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize