He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
