I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
