The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
