You just made me feel so damn special
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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