About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize