therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
