you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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