Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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