Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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