I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cut my penus on the lid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize