just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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