she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
