The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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